honeylemonselfiequeen:

imagineyourfavoriterobot:

Imagine your favorite robot discovering that the word “fucking” is used to intensify adjectives in the English language, so they start enhancing their sentences with it… very fucking liberally.

image

(via beyondthebooty)

thetalkinghusk:

wearmedown:

a-greek-goddess:

how to get girls to like you:

  1. compliment their eyebrows
  2. eat them out

FACTS

I’ve been going about this all wrong!

(Source: drunkvanity, via gaimez)

duoachievement:

Don’t forget to wish Matt Hullum a Happy Birthday guys! He turns 40 today!

(via gaimez)

buckybernes:

amortizing:

me: “sleeps for 5 hours” tired
me: “sleeps for 17 hours” tired
me: “sleeps for a month” tired
me: “sleeps for a year” still tired

me: “sleeps for 70 years” I am Captain America

(via towerofpimpettes)